International jokes

An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his
bedside:”Guido, I wan’ you lissina me. I wan’ you to take-a my chrome plated 38 revolver, so you will always remember me.” “But grandpa, I really don’t like guns… How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?” “You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos… Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. “Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say:’Times up!’”?!… 🙂
* * *
An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland, arrived at the casino. She
seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a
single roll of the dice. She said:”I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude.” with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled:”Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!” As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed:”Yes! Yes! I won, I won!” She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked:”What did she roll?” The other answered:”I don’t know – I thought you were watching.”

MORAL OF THE STORY: Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, but all men… are men! 🙂

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